Il Primo Natale di Alexander!

DIARIO DI ROMA VI – Il Bambino!
Sunday December 29, 2019
Sunny 50°F/10°C in Roma, Lazio, Italia
Buonagiornata,

Apart from the excitement of Christmas Eve, Alexander’s FIRST Christmas passed quietly. We had

Alexander and Michael Botula

been invited to Laura’s sister’s house, but, Chiara’s own daughter, Noemi was sick with a slight bug, so Laura and Michael opted to stay home. I joined them later in the day for dinner. On Christmas Eve, we were invited Tiziana and Pino’s home for dinner. Tiziana and Laura have been friends for years, and the two couples are neighbors in the same condominium complex. We enjoyed the traditional Christmas Eve dinner of several courses, in the Italian manner, and exchanged gifts. It seems that many Italian families lean more toward Christmas Eve for their celebration instead of the typical American fashion of the big event being on Christmas morning, following Santa’s visit the night before, and the joy of the children seeing their presents under the Christmas trees. I explained to Michael and Laura and the others, that Donna and I used to exchange our gifts on Christmas Eve right up to the day that our daughter Dana was born, and we began to wait until Santa’s visit along with everyone else.

Michael, MikeBo and Balcony

A few days before Christmas, I took the Metro down to the Coliseum to meet Michael for an aperitivo, a longtime custom among Romans. He was back to work as a tour guide and was just wrapping up his full day of showing visitors to Rome the sights. Nowadays, his bookings are made through Airbnb. So, you can rent an apartment, and book one of Michael’s tours in the same transaction. I waited for him in front of the Metro station in the shadow of the gigantic amphitheater. We set off along the wide street through the Forum toward a shimmering Christmas tree in the distance. That’s the Piazza Venezia, said Michael. We’ll see what’s happening there and have our aperitivo. We left the Coliseum behind and strolled past the glories of ancient Rome in the gathering twilight. We passed by the Capitoline Museum perched on one of the Seven Hills of Rome, the seat of power during the heady days of the Roman Empire. I love to stroll through the Forum at Sunset…so many ghosts haunt the city! Soon, we reached the Piazza Venezia and the Christmas tree in the Piazza. We stepped inside the tall, iron fence to Italy’s War Memorial and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier high above us. To reach the tomb, a massive line of granite steps awaited us. I demurred, citing my age and my arthritis, which makes it difficult for me to negotiate stairs of any kind, especially if there are no handrails to assist me.

Il Duce at one point ordered that the boulevard in front of his Fascist headquarters to be widened and straightened to accommodate the huge military parades that accompanied his early military conquests. Mussolini, it seems, was bent on restoring the glories of the Ancient Roman Empire, but he accomplished far less than that. However, in the glory days of fascism, Mussolini embarked on a massive public works program, much of which can still be seen today. Fortunately, by the time Rome fell to General Mark Clark’s troops on June 5, 1944, it had been declared an Open City, which spared Rome the massive destruction suffered by other European cities in World War Two. Il Duce himself along with his mistress, Clara Petacci, were executed by partisans in 1945 in Northern Italy, and, in a final indignity, were hung upside down by their heels in a Milan gas station. In a typical gesture of Italian gallantry, Ms. Petacci’s skirt was tied at her knees, so her legs would not be exposed to the gazes of the thousands of spectators who came out to witness the spectacle. The famous balcony was restored in 2011. So much for the Italian history lesson. And, now back to Christmas.

Mussolini's Balcony in its Heyday

We crossed the street and posed for several of Michael’s famous selfies. When I saw the photos later, I saw that he had taken two varieties of photos. One included just the two of us in several frames, and the other series widened out to include Rome’s infamous balcony from which Benito Mussolini used to address hordes of his fascist followers. In fact, and Michael has pointed this out to me every time that we have come here;

On Christmas Day, I got up and went for a long walk around the neighborhood. Our family plans had been dashed by the illness at Laura’s sister’s house. When I decided to stay through Christmas and the New Year, plus my birthday in January, I had expected to spend a lot of time alone or with other friends simply because Laura and Michael would be focusing on the new addition to THEIR family. Which is as it should be.  So, I brought my faithful traveling companion with me – my trusty IPAD and a selection of Netflix movies, including the Godfather Trilogy. In the process, I discovered that my entire HBO subscription and most of my Amazon Prime subscription do not work in the European Union. Ditto for CBS All Access. (CBSN works fine for news). But Netflix, with it’s international menu works fine. So, between my long walk and the Godfather Part 1, I was able to put Christmas Day in the “win column.” Then, 5:30 rolled around, and it was time for dinner at Michael and Laura’s. I got to see my new grandson again on Christmas.

The next day, I told Michael when he called, that I would walk over to his house. And so, shortly

Alexander Botula

after two, I started off, deciding to try the new route along Via Cesare Pavese instead of the more tried and truer route along Viale dell’Oceano Atlantico. As a result, I became hopelessly lost shortly after turning left on Via Salvatore Quasimodo off Via Cesare Pavese. It was after 3:30 before I executed my course correction and discovered the true path leading to Laura and Michael’s place. As it turned out, he was planning to deep fry a duck. We would be dining in style. My extra-long walk had been worth it.

Next time, more of my Roman Holiday adventures. Until then,

Ci vediamo, (See you soon).
Ciao,
MikeBo

[Mike Botula, the author of LST 920: Charlie Botula’s Long, Slow Target! is a former broadcast journalist, government agency spokesperson and media consultant.   Mike’s book is available from Amazon Books. You can read more about Mike Botula at www.mikebotula.com]

© By Mike Botula 2020

La Vita Romana!

DIARIO DI ROMA VI – Il Bambino!
Sunday December 22, 2019
Partly Cloudy & Windy 59°F/15°C in Roma, Lazio, Italia
Buonagiornata,

Life has certainly smoothed out for me since the tumultuous first week or so. I never fully recovered  from the apartment I had counted on to live in for two months, disappearing at the last, possible minute like that. Even worse, the Penthouse being such a disastrous replacement. Even though our money was quickly refunded, the whole experience left a bitter aftertaste in my craw. I periodically check that listing on Airbnb, and I am gratified that The Penthouse shows nary one booking for all of 2020! The main reason that I am even here in Rome at all is an infant named Alexander…my grandson and heir to the Botula name. He is the first-born child of my son Michael and his wife Laura and is the first Botula to be eligible for dual citizenship – Italian and US.

Alexander and Michael

 I am happily ensconced a short distance away on Via Laurentina, a major thoroughfare in this section of the area known as E.U.R. I’m a short distance away (less than a ten minute walk) from the apartment I originally rented from Amina in 2015 or so. So, I have a bit of a history in this particular neighborhood.

Thursday evening, I sent a message to Maria, the lady who was going to rent me the original apartment, just to touch base. She was not in Rome. In fact, she was on a train back to her home in Linz, Austria. It seems all high speed trains in Europe have Wi-Fi. What’s more she would not be in Rome during my stay. AND, she promised to make it up to me for the inconvenience of the apartment that wasn’t there! I promised her that when I planned for my next trip to Rome, she would be the first person I would contact. It’s always nice to have options. I only pray that the contractors Maria hired to renovate her apartment have finished by then. My son had expressed doubt that they would be finished in time for my trip when he checked out the apartment for me. So, when Maria sent me her frantic note, I wasn’t totally surprised.

Alexander turned one month old on December 14^th.  This will be my newest grandchild’s first Christmas, and we could not be happier. He’s a bit colicky, but that is to be expected. Mike and Laura take him to the pediatrician every week. He definitely is growing and filling out.  Alexander is Laura and Michael’s first child. As many of you know, my daughter Dana has five children, three girls and two boys; Joshua, Jacob, Jessica and the twins Jaydan and Jordan. In fact, I followed Dana’s family from California to Texas to be near my grandchildren. Alexander’s appearance provides me with more of an incentive to visit Rome. (As if I needed more of an incentive).

Laura at the Chinese Store

I love the neighborhood. It is chock full of little shops, bars and restaurants. All the modern conveniences of life without the Texas-sized distances that I’ve grown used to back home. My entire life is now within walking distance. And, for further distances, there is a bus stop directly in front of my building with an endless line of buses to whisk me to the Metro station and the entire city beyond. One such establishment is known throughout the neighborhood simply as, the Chinese Store, or in local parlance il negozio cinese. In this day and age of specialty shops, the Chinese Store is a throwback to the time when every small town had at least one five and ten cents store. This version occupies perhaps two or three store fronts, and it’s one entrance is guarded by an elderly Asian woman sitting behind the store’s only cash register. Inside every conceivable household product is jammed on the shelves which go floor to ceiling across the extremely narrow aisles. Laundry detergent, fabric softener and the ubiquitous drying racks occupy shelf space right across from the flat ware and dinner plates. Stationery items are at the front of the store.  And, the replacement batteries and USB cables are kept alongside the cash register, under the watchful eye of the Asian lady. Overhead, along one jam-packed aisle, shower caddies dangle on hooks, high and out of reach, except for an employee with a long pole with a hook on it. Everything is somewhere – here in the Chinese Store. The store has a sign that says SUPER CONVENIENZA! Everyone in the neighborhood knows where it is. I have never seen so many items jammed into one location as I have crowding Il Negozio Cinese, except for the old Five and Dime Stores of old.

And, speaking of the neighborhood, I’m happy to know, that in this small-town atmosphere, my neighbors are getting to know me as well. There’s the lady cashier at the Elite Market, who is very patient with me as I fumble with la busta or plastic shopping bag or my Euros to pay her. She remembered me after one of my absences. I always   try to greet her in Italian and inquire as to how she is. Buongiorno. Come stai? And, at the end of the transaction, it is always, Grazie. Ciao! In the case of Alejandra, who did my manicure at the spa around the corner, she not only remembered me from last May, but she remembered that Laura made the original appointment. That left me with no alternative, but to make my next appointment with her for the next time. Several of my neighbors in the apartment building have noticed my new face among them and welcomed me with a warm Benvenuto! Even my friend and sometime landlady, Amina, has gotten into the welcoming act. When we met for coffee on my first night in the apartment, she made a point of taking me in to each bistro and specialty shop to introduce me to the shopkeeper and asking them to take care of me because I didn’t speak Italian well.

And then, there is Delia, who is technically my landlady. She and her husband Christian literally saved my bacon when I was forced to move from the Penthouse, and they couldn’t be nicer to me. Delia offered to clean the apartment during my stay and help me shop and cook. I opted to retain her for the cleaning chores. She comes every Friday or Saturday, and when she is finished, my little casa fairly GLEAMS.

I realize that I have a distinct advantage over the typical tourist. On my extended stays, I actually live here! Unlike my first couple of trips to Rome when I stayed with Michael and Laura, I now pack a big suitcase (usually overweight) and rent and apartment for a couple of months usually in my chosen neighborhood in E.U.R. A couple of years ago I developed the habit of leaving an extra suitcase with a variety of clothing to be worn on my next trip. My extra suitcase is joined by my laptop computer, which I leave with Michael and Laura. That means I can hit the ground running when I arrive in Rome. The days of the life of a tourist, with its regimen of hotels and a bewildering array of cities and tour buses is now behind me. I actually LIVE here, at least part-time!

Next time: Alexander’s first Christmas, but, for now…

Ciao,
MikeBo

[Mike Botula, the author of LST 920: Charlie Botula’s Long, Slow Target! is a former broadcast journalist, government agency spokesperson and media consultant.   Mike’s book is available from Amazon Books. You can read more about Mike Botula at www.mikebotula.com]

© By Mike Botula 2020

Un Giorno Piovoso!

DIARIO DI ROMA VI – Il Bambino!
Sunday December 15, 2019
Cloudy 58°F/14°C in Roma, Lazio, Italia
Buonagiornata,

Sta piovendo! It’s raining!  Back in Texas, this would just be another gully washer, but here in Rome

Snow in Roma - 2016

the citizens take things more seriously. I’ve experienced this first-hand several times now. This storm rolled in on Friday the thirteenth… or, in Italian, Venerdi tredicesimo! The first time was the snowstorm that paralyzed the city two years ago.  My son called me to check up on me. It snowed, Pop! He told me. When did it last snow in Rome? I asked the pride of my loins. About fourteen years ago. He told me. I wasn’t here for that one. We were in Bologna. But Rome is shut down. Schools are closed. The buses are not running, and the Metro is not running. Dad, the CITY is shut down! I knew instinctively what I had to do. I ran to the balcony and snapped a few photos with my IPhone. Then, I looked down the street. The activity on the street indicated to me that the Coop Mercato was still open. I grabbed my coat and my walking stick and headed down the street to pick up some survival supplies. As I entered the store, one of the clerks greeted me with a friendly Buongiorno! Dove il sale?  I replied. Where is the salt? He pointed to the back of the store. I headed there with my basket and picked up three boxes of rock salt. In a snowstorm, you can never have too much rock salt!  I used it liberally on my way back to the apartment to salt down the entry steps.

Last Spring, it was a record heat wave that paralyzed the city. One evening we even had a moderate earthquake. Now, we have a rain emergency. What next – locusts? Visigoths? American Tourists? But now, it’s raining … and Rome is paralyzed! Rome is built on seven hills. It has a fabulous sewer system, parts of which are two thousand years old. The rain will run off… but povera Venezia!  Venice has more to lose than Rome in this era of climate change. The summer rains have been bad…up to four feet of water flooded Piazza San Marco recently, portending the future date when Venice will be completely under water.

Sofia and Alexander

But the primary reason for this visit is my new grandson, Alexander.  Like my daughter’s five kids, Alexander is a joy to his Nonno in his dotage. It’s amazing how fast newborns GROW! Alexander Came home from the hospital with a tiny knit cap on his tiny head. He was a peanut! Now after just a few weeks, he has grown considerably. I don’t have the relevant statistics at my fingertips, but he sees the pediatrician every week, and his parents keep track of every weight gain – meticulously. Michael took off from work for a full month to help in the parenting chores and to bond with his new son. Laura has several more months of maternity leave remaining. Fortunately, her work enables her to work from home much of the time, and that’s how she will gradually return to her job.

On Wednesday, I rode the Metro to Circo Massimo, where the ancient chariot races were held; at the invitation of my friend Amina. She works at F.A.O. the massive United Nations Food Organization. The FAO building was constructed during the 1930s by Benito Mussolini, during the height of his conquests in Africa to house his colonial offices. The view of the Circus Maximus from the FAO

Amina

rooftop is nothing short of spectacular! The Coliseum and the Forum are just one Metro stop away. During our luncheon of Couscous (for her) and Pasta Napolitano (for me) Amina suggested that our next lunch date be the following day near the Basilica San Paolo, at a little neighborhood restaurant that she knew. After that, she would be traveling to Paris to spend Christmas with her family. It meant that I might not see her again on this trip to Rome, because she would be leaving after that for three weeks hiking in Vietnam.  Sure enough, she rang my apartment the following day to catch the bus to the Laurentina Metro. As I met her in front of my building, the skies opened up, and it started raining – hard. We were rained out of our excursion to Basilica San Paolo. We scurried into a nearby bistro, had lunch and waited for the rain to stop.

The next day, Friday the Thirteenth, I awoke to another storm that had rolled in during the night. THAT was the storm that closed schools and created such havoc. I had been expecting Delia – my landlord’s wife to clean the apartment, but sure enough – at the appointed hour I received a text from Christian saying that Delia would not be coming until the afternoon. Even then I had my doubts, because I felt that the storm would be with us all day. Sure enough, word reached me that afternoon that Delia would be unable to come over until the following day.

If it were not for my teacher at Austin Community College – Patrizia Papi – I would be totally lost in the language department! Each time I come to Rome, my well-meaning son tries to find one of his students for me to practice with in a language exchange or scambio di lingua. That has had mixed results for me. For instance, three years ago, Monica and I had molti gelati together, but didn’t practice much English OR Italian. I have decided to take matters into my own hands with Delia. The arrangement is that she comes in to clean the apartment weekly. (And, I suspect, to keep an eye on the place for her husband, Christian). So, I have introduced Delia to the wonders of Duolingo. We both have our Google Translators on our Smartphones. So, we are able to communicate. Where there’s a will there’s a way! Now, every week when she comes to clean, we sit down at the table, beve caffѐ, and practice our languages. I usually spend at least an hour a day practicing with Duolingo.

Next time, more adventures with Alexander the Great, conquering hearts everywhere he travels through the known world.

Ciao,
MikeBo

[Mike Botula, the author of LST 920: Charlie Botula’s Long, Slow Target! is a former broadcast journalist, government agency spokesperson and media consultant.   Mike’s book is available from Amazon Books. You can read more about Mike Botula at www.mikebotula.com]

© By Mike Botula 2020

La Vita Domestica!

DIARIO DI ROMA VI – Il Bambino!
Sunday December 8, 2019
Partly Cloudy 60°F/16°C in Roma, Lazio, Italia
Buonagiornata,

Alexander Botula

In my travels to Rome, I’ve always gone onto explore most of Italy. Hence, I’ve been enchanted by Firenze, Venezia, Pisa, Milano and, yes …. even Napoli. I’ve walked along La Via Appia and visited ancient Paestum, a hardy survivor of Magna Graecia, and visited the notorious World War Two battlefields of Salerno, Anzio and Montecassino. But, from the moment Michael and Laura told Annamaria and Sergio and me about the blessed event they were anticipating in November, I knew that major changes were coming to my gad-a-bout scheduling. MAJOR changes were in store for Michael and Laura, too! The memory of what my cousin, Mary Duffy said all those years ago to Donna and I came flooding back to me now.

Donna and I had just made one of our career moves to San Francisco. It was 1966. The Summer of Love. I had just taken the Program Director’s job at KFOG radio, when it was still located at Ghirardelli Square. Donna would soon get a job at the BBDO Advertising Agency at 650 California Street. It was before our Dana or Michael made their appearance, and we thoroughly lived the San Francisco life for a full year. I realized that my cousin Mary Duffy lived in San Francisco orbit nearby with her husband, Tom Walker. (In the Botula family, the cousins were always referred to by their family name, so the other cousins could keep track of them). I called Mary and invited she and Tom to join us for dinner at Fisherman’s Wharf. It was on our post-prandial stroll around the area, when Mary uttered those immortal words. Enjoy it now, Mike and Donna! She said. Because when your kids start coming along, these carefree days are going away for a L-O-N-G time. You’ll be old and gray before you have the world to yourselves again! Mary was right. Dana was born in 1969 and Michael was born in 1973. Life, as we knew it in our carefree days together, ended with our first diaper change. But, as I hasten to add since, I know that Alexander will read this someday. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Life with children is to be savored, because they grow up much too fast!

So, I am reliving those times through Michael and Laura. True, it impacts on Nonno, as well, because if their focus is totally consumed by their new son, this will impact as well on the people who have been free up to now, to simply drop in for a visit. It’s a whole new ball game for them as well. How I wish Donna could be here to share in the moment. (We divorced in 2003. A few years later, she was diagnosed with cancer and died in 2010). But, at moments like this, my cousin Mary Duffy’s words ring down through the years. But, back to the present!

RUB A DUB, DUB!

I missed Alexander’s birth by a week, but I have been here for many of his small, but important milestones since, most notably his first bath. Laura and Michael have spared no expense in seeing that their son has all the right equipment. That includes his bathinette. It’s literally a tiny bathtub on wheels. From their son’s equipment room, my son rolled it into the kitchen, where the infant Botula would get his first wash down. Even before Alexander was brought in, Michael carefully measured the warm water for the first bath, and repeatedly took its temperature with a special, stainless steel thermometer. Finally, after all the preparations of Dr. Michael DeBakey’s surgical team preparing for a heart transplant…Laura brought the baby into the operating theater. All that was missing were the surgical gowns, masks and rubber gloves! Layers of baby clothes quickly disappeared as did the diaper, which Alexander was not quite done with. Uh, ONE and Uh, TWO! Alexander used his diaper for the final time and was quickly committed to the warm water. The experience of his first dunking immediately elicited squawks of disapproval from the infant. I was present with my cellphone camera at the ready, ever mindful of the potential for future embarrassment once the baby Alexander had reached maturity and the inevitable baby-picture displays by his parents. So, I have chosen one, carefully cropped photo to accompany this blog.

Alexander was born on November 14, 2019 at Oespedale San Camillo, in Roma. It’s the majorhospital in Italy’s government health care system, where babies are born – at least in Rome. Laura was born there, and now her son. Laura’s sister, Chiara, had her little girl, Noemi there as well. So, for the patriarch of the Tomei family, Sergio, it has meant a lot of visits to San Camillo over the years. The front of the hospital is marked by greetings of well-wishers spray-painted, graffiti-style across the façade. Sergio and I posed for a photo in 2017 when Chiara and Maurizio’s Noemi was born in the same hospital as her little cugino was born. Oespedale San Camillo is not a birthing center as Americans would understand the term. It is a specialty hospital, operated by the government, where Italian babies are born. It is a full-service hospital with surgical suites and neonatal intensive care units. Such care for newborns has resulted in Italy’s low infant mortality rate worldwide. (5.5 per thousand versus the USA’s 6.5 per thousand).

Sergio and MikeBo

So, I return to my original point: I’m not gallivanting around Italy much on this trip. I’m trying to stay close to my new grandson without becoming a pest to his parents. I recall when Dana was born in 1969, my mother-in-law traveled all the way from Illinois to southern California to help out, then announced that she would stay until our baby girl was Baptized in the Catholic Church! (Oh, the joys of a religiously mixed marriage). That’s why I have one daughter who’s Catholic, and a son who’s a nominal Methodist. (When Michael was born, my mother-in-law was too ill to make the trip). So, I am pretty much on my own this trip. I am getting reacquainted with my friends from my previous trips, and yesterday, bought a slew of biglietti so I can travel by myself on Rome’s Metro e Autobus system.

I’ve reconnected with Marsha de Salvatore, the Grande Comedienne of Rome’s Comedy Club, where she performs as Marsha Cincinnati. In fact, I brought her a big jar of Melatonin Gummies to help her sleep. I ran into Marsha at a Louis C.K. performance during my first week in Rome. The comic has come to Rome, trying to make a comeback after a disastrous encounter with the Me Too movement! 

Amina

The week before, Louis C.K. had played Tel Aviv in a comeback tour of epic proportion. Then, I met Amina for coffee. She is my landlady from my first stay at an Airbnb apartment. I’ve stayed there a few other times. Hence, we’ve become friends. In fact, for this trip, her place was booked. So, she arranged with a friend to let me rent her apartment, but the deal fell apart when the contractors remodeling her apartment missed their deadline. That’s how I wound up in The Penthouse. Anyway, we met for coffee last week. Before we said our Buona Sera’s, she had introduced me to every shopkeeper on the block, as their new neighbor. Amina is like Welcome Wagon on steroids.

Next time. Two turkeys, as we ex-pats celebrate Thanksgiving.

Ciao,

MikeBo

[Mike Botula, the author of LST 920: Charlie Botula’s Long, Slow Target! is a retired broadcast journalist, government agency spokesperson and media consultant.   Mike’s book is available from Amazon Books. You can read more about Mike Botula at www.mikebotula.com]

© By Mike Botula 2020

So Much For The Penthouse!

DIARIO DI ROMA VI – Il Bambino!
Monday December 2, 2019
Partly Cloudy 62°F/17°C in Roma, Lazio, Italia
Buonagiornata,

After Maria’s call pulled the rug out of my plans for a place to stay in Rome, I called my son Michael

Michael and Alexander

in a bit of a panic. I had a hunch that would happen! Said my son.  I got the feeling that she doesn’t have a clue about how Italian contractors work, especially if they’re not supervised. And Maria told me that she was going to Japan on business during the time you’d be arriving. Michael was up against a deadline of his own. His wife, Laura was due to give birth to the couple’s first child around November 14^th, He did NOT have time to go house-hunting for his dad. But, two days later he called to tell me he had found an apartment in my preferred section of E.U.R. It’s Via Elio Vittorini, dad, off Viale Cesare Pavese, where you stayed at Mohamed’s place. He went on to say that because the birth of his son was imminent, he wouldn’t be able to check the place out. But the photos looked good, plus it was a solid neighborhood, very high end, etc., etc.  I concurred, and we signed the contract. I would have to spend my first night in a hotel while the other guests moved out. But I had found my home for the next two months…or, so I thought.

Penthouse View

It DID have a great view! I was hustled right outside to see it and avoid the shortcomings of the inside. Later, after the landlady and her associate had left, did I came to get an opportunity to survey the apartment properly. The bathroom was super small and cramped? Imagine a small closet with an oversized sink, a toilet and a bidet AND a shower all crammed into a four by six room. I would have to climb over the bidet to gain access to the shower. Now I should digress to explain that all Rome apartment buildings have on their roof a structure to house the machinery for the building’s elevator. Over the years the elevator box has been expanded to include a small apartment or two. Thus, in the age of Airbnb, that is how we got the Penthouse designation. Access is gained by a full flight of stairs without handrails. Since I have rheumatoid arthritis, the ascent UP the stairs was manageable with my cane but GOING DOWN was a nightmare! (For Italy, any form of ADA legislation is still in the distant future! And, so I passed the next three nights – scared out my wits to exit the apartment, except when Michael was around to call the paramedicos in case I took a header down the stairs.

I’ve already recounted the visit I had from Giancarlo, the building superintendent. He wondered about all the racket on my roof during the night. It was the compressor for the combo heater/ air conditioner that made enough racket that HE could hear it in his flat on the floor below. That night, I listened to the drip…drip…drip of the rain on my pillow – until I wised up and moved the bed away from the leaking window. I awoke the next morning with the intention of taking a shower. I turned on the water and adjusted the temperature to my satisfaction. Then, I climbed over the bidet and into the shower and soaped myself to a fare-thee-well. At the moment of super-sudsiness, my hot water turned icy cold! I haven’t had a cold shower like that since Boy Scout Camp, or maybe the time my wife told me for the twentieth time that she had a headache! I rinsed off as best as I could – in great haste, I might add, and got the hell out of the shower. The culprit was the antique by-demand water heater on the wall. It’s capacity of hot water was – shall we say – sorely lacking.

Alexander Botula

But the Coupe de Ville, as my old KMPC buddy, Dave Niehaus used to say before he went on to fame and fortune, broadcasting games for the Seattle Mariners baseball team. The Coupe de Ville for me came when the ancient wax ring at the base of the toilet sprung a leak and flooded the bathroom, with water lapping out under the door into the living room. Just then, my son Michael buzzed me from the front gate. When he got up to my penthouse, he greeted me with, ‘Morning, Pop! Did you get your shower? Then he spotted the deluge, whipped out his cell phone and started video-ing the entire apartment. That’s for the complaint department at Airbnb, he explained. Then, he got our landlady on his phone. When he got done with the call, he said to me, get packed! This place is uninhabitable. They’ll be over soon to pick up the keys. By the time they arrived, Michael’s video was already being viewed by the Airbnb folks, who had already promised a full refund. By the time that the Penthouse landladies had arrived, my son had found me a NEW apartment. But it wouldn’t be ready for another day. So, it was back to Hotel Quadrifoglio Roma, where I had spent my first night in Rome.

My New Apartment

The new place is on Via Laurentina, right around the corner from my apartment on Viale Oscar Sinigaglia. Christian and Delia Grilli are my hosts. Compared to the Penthouse, my new place is a dream! It’s taken a few days now, but I’m all settled into my new digs. I’ve even taken a couple of showers, and, lo and behold-no cold water and NO floods! When we signed the rental agreement, Christian cautioned me that I might get a visit from officers of La Guardia Finanza, Italy’s financial police who look out for Italians who might get the urge to cheat on their taxes. Sure enough, the next morning my doorbell rang, and I opened my door to two ladies flashing badges. We’re from the police! Said one of them, and I ushered them. They looked over my rental agreement and checked my passport. I, in turn gave them Christian and Delia’s phone numbers and they left shortly thereafter.

I realize my apartment travails have prevented me from post the full number of baby pictures of my new grandson – Alexander. But I’ve been preoccupied with straightening out my living situation. I’ll just put you on notice that will change with this blog. I see Il bambino just about every day, so stand by for lots of baby pictures!

Next time: Amina takes me on a tour of the neighborhood! Plus, Louis C.K. and other delights.

Ciao,
MikeBo

[Mike Botula, the author of LST 920: Charlie Botula’s Long, Slow Target! is a retired broadcast journalist, government agency spokesperson and media consultant.   Mike’s book is available from Amazon Books. You can read more about Mike Botula at www.mikebotula.com]

© By Mike Botula 2020